Matrix Gazette

Norwegian Filmmaker Faces Prison for Stating Men Cannot be Lesbians
By Tom White on December 23, 2022
Lesbian filmmaker Tonje Gjevjon, faces up to three years in prison for suggesting that male-to-female transgender women are still men. (more…)
Giant Falling Rock Crushes Prius
By Tom White on January 14, 2023
MALIBU, California, Jan 1 - A California driver narrowly escaped death after a giant boulder tumbled down a hillside and crushed...
There, Now that $900,000 Painting Makes More Sense
By Tom White on December 3, 2022
A painting worth $900,000 has been destroyed after a security guard drew eyes on faceless figures depicted in the artwork. On...
We Need Common Sense Pie Control!
By Tom White on December 10, 2022
GREENVILLE, South Carolina, Apr 15, 2022 - Police in Greenville, South Carolina, have charged Andre Eugene Moore-Gerald with third-degree assault and...
Honest Officer, I didn’t know that it was whiskey. I thought it was a dog toy.
By Tom White on November 27, 2022
Jack Daniels has petitioned the Supreme Court to rule on its dispute with the maker of a dog chew toy that...
New York Rats Out of Control? Call Rat Czar!
By Tom White on December 3, 2022
New York Mayor Eric Adams wants to pay someone up to $170,000 per year to be the city's new rat czar....
We need common sense bee control. Woman assaults officers with swarm of angry bees.
By Tom White on November 19, 2022
LONGMEADOW, Massachusetts – Oct 20. 2022 A woman stands accused of unleashing a hive of angry bees on deputies trying to...
Mann beißt Hund (Man bites Dog)
By Tom White on November 11, 2022
BERLIN, Oct 14, 2022 — Officers were called to a dispute between two 29-year-old men and a 35-year-old woman in the...
Man Robs Bank with Demand Note Written on Back of His Own Birth Certificate
By Tom White on November 28, 2022
A Missouri man committed a bank robbery with a demand note on the back of his own birth certificate, while wearing...
Man dances on top of truck. Truck goes under bridge. Dance ends abruptly.
By Tom White on November 19, 2022
A man in Houston who was dancing atop an 18-wheeler as it traveled down a freeway died on Tuesday morning when...
Party known for dead voters elects dead candidate
By Tom White on November 19, 2022
Democrat Anthony “Tony” DeLuca, one month dead, was re-elected in a landslide in November's mid-term election for Pennsylvania state representative. Read...
Honest Chief Inspector, rats ate 440 pounds of evidence.
By Tom White on November 27, 2022
Police in India blamed rats for destroying nearly 200kg (440lb) of cannabis held in evidence storage and kept in police stations....
Farmer Moves Rock and Makes Country of France Smaller
By Tom White on May 17, 2021
Bousignies-sur-Roc, Belgium - May 6, 2021 A Belgian farmer moved a stone that interfered with his plowing which turned out to...
Mexican Revolutionaries Plan to Cross Atlantic Ocean in Wooden Boat And Invade Spain
By Tom White on May 10, 2021
Mexico - April 30th, 2021 A group of seven Zapatistas, indigenous Mexican revolutionaries, is getting ready to set sail across the...
Man Bitten while using Barbecue Tongs to Remove Rattlesnake
By Tom White on April 26, 2021
Corona, California - April 20, 2021 A man spotted a snake near his home in the Sycamore Creek community of Corona...
Giant Rabbit Stolen
By Tom White on April 26, 2021
Stoulton, England - April 13, 2021 Darius, a 4 foot, 3 inch long rabbit, was stolen from his hutch in the...
Disgruntled Tesla Owner Jumps on Car at Shanghai Auto Show
By Tom White on April 26, 2021
Shanghai, China - April 19, 2021 Wearing a shirt emblazoned with "Invisible Killer" and "The Brakes Don't Work," a peeved Tesla...

Proposed Presidential Ticket For 2024 – Problem Is, They’re Both Dead

An empty Presidential Office at the White House

Proposed Presidential Ticket For 2024 – Problem Is, They’re Both Dead

By Diamond Michael Scott on November 19, 2022

With midterm elections now past us, the 2024 United States presidential election, scheduled for Tuesday, November 5, 2024, is within earshot. Sadly, I’m not the…

How to Give Biden, Congress, and the Media a Piece of Your Mind